In pursuit of perfect sleep

As a sleep medicine specialist, I often meet people who are deeply committed to improving their sleep - tracking every night, following expert recommendations, and doing everything “right.” Yet despite their best efforts, the ideal night of rest always seems just out of reach. Instead of bringing peace of mind, their pursuit becomes a source of stress. This experience may reflect a condition called orthosomnia, which develops when worry, monitoring, and excessive focus on achieving “good sleep” actually interfere with the ability to sleep. In essence, orthosomnia is when the pursuit of good sleep becomes counterproductive.

The Connection Between Orthosomnia, Sleep Anxiety, and Insomnia

In recent years, well-intentioned media coverage has amplified public awareness about sleep deprivation and its many consequences, including heart disease, memory problems, weakened immunity, depression, and diabetes. For some, this messaging can become so alarming that they begin to catastrophize, fearing that if they don’t “fix” their sleep, it could have devastating or even life-threatening consequences. The rise of consumer sleep trackers such as the Apple Watch, Garmin, Oura Ring, and Fitbit can sometimes add to this anxiety. These devices provide nightly sleep scores that often highlight perceived deficiencies, yet may offer little clear guidance on how to meaningfully improve sleep. This combination of concern and uncertainty can heighten bedtime anxiety and make sleep even more elusive.

The dreaded feedback loop:

• Worrying about sleep increases mental effort and physiological activation.

• The effort to “make” sleep happen prevents relaxation.

• Poor sleep then reinforces anxiety, creating a self-perpetuating cycle.

For individuals already dealing with insomnia, orthosomnia can magnify the problem by turning sleep into a nightly performance test - something to achieve rather than something to allow.

Finding Balance

It is true that sleep is an essential part of well-being, but it’s only one part. Equally important to sleep health is how we live during the day. A full, meaningful life, rich with purpose, connection, and joy, has a profound impact on sleep quality. Engaging in activities that make life enjoyable and fulfilling helps calm the nervous system, improve mood, and promote more restorative sleep. In other words, living well supports sleeping well! Even when we are sleep restricted, finding ways to stay engaged in these enjoyable activities is important by pacing yourself and participating as you’re able is far more beneficial than withdrawing until your sleep is “fixed” and your sleep score is better

When to Seek Professional Help

If you find yourself:

• Highly focused on tracking or analyzing your sleep,

• Feeling anxious about not sleeping enough or not getting a good sleep score,

• Rigidly following sleep “rules” and feeling frustrated with your results, or

• Struggling with persistent insomnia despite good habits,

…it may be time to seek professional support.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is the gold-standard treatment for insomnia and sleep anxiety, including orthosomnia. CBT-I helps retrain the mind and body by rewiring thoughts and behaviors, making it the most sustainable way to restore truly restful sleep.

At Insight Sleep, my virtual insomnia clinic, I specialize in helping individuals across the U.S. overcome insomnia and sleep-related anxiety using CBT-I. As a PhD-level, double-board-certified sleep medicine specialist licensed in almost every state, I provide personalized, evidence-based care designed to restore confidence in your body’s natural ability to sleep.

If you’re ready to rest easier and live more fully, visit www.insightsleep.org to learn more or schedule your free 15-minute consultation.